i'm alone and i'm scared. i'm at the unit and i'm alone. i don't want to be here. i don't want to be here because i have nothing when i get out. i don't have anything to live for and i tried again last night. i'm scared. my dad says he's not done with me. he says he's picking me up tonight. he says he's making me come home. i don't want to. he'll ruin me. he'll ruin me because he knows i'm alone. i'm alone and i'm scared.

do you know what it's like? i loved him. i loved him and he doesn't even want me. he's all i have in this stupid fucking life and he doesn't fucking want me. he doesn't want me and no one wants me. no one fucking cares about me and what the fuck have i ever done to them? what did i do? 

he says i was the ugly child. i was the stupid child. i was the one he could've done without. and i don't want to live with him but he's all i have because i don't fucking have anyone. no one fucking wants me.

long and the short of it?

i fucked up. i fucked up really badly, and i don't know if they'll let me come home. i'm using my sister's cellphone to post this.

my dad came at me with a knife again. so i did the first thing that came to me. i punched him. i don't know what i was thinking, but i was in pain and i was scared and it was the first thing i thought of. i didn't hurt him too badly, i don't think, but it's enough that i'm in deep shit and i don't know if they'll let me out.

dunno. we're pullin up to the place right now and idk if i'll be back tomorrow morning (probably, once eval is over and i stay the night), or in a few months. i also dont know if ny dad cna actually eep me checked int nad have me home at the same time, so idk if he'll acutally be able toget the twelve days but he might say he doesn't feel safe around me dso i dunno.

i ttink i have mt celphine at home, so hyou can leave messages if you gyus want.